Page 57 - Let´s Make Waves - November 2018

With Jan & DeanJan & Dean
With

Dear Jan and Dean, My husband and I sure enjoy your en- ior. Second, I have to say, both your parents are uncouth, and
tertaining magazine each month. We haven't seen a ques- have zero manners. To act like this is childish, and just plain
tion like this in your column so I hope you can help us. My rude. Do they even use utensil’s at the dinner table, or use their
husband "Tom" and I get along great. We will be celebrat- fingers? Just curious. I would have told them to leave and not
ing our third anniversary this December. Our problem is come back till they know how to act in a civil manor. Forget the
not with us, it is with both sets of our parents. holidays with them, and go take that cruise. If they want to
know why, tell them the truth. And by the way, you might want
Last year they both totally ruined our Thanksgiving. Both to get them copies of Emily Post and Ms Manners books for
sets of our parents live in the North and Northeast so they Christmas, and tell them to read cover to cover.
love coming to Galveston this time of year. They have all
advised us that they plan on coming and staying with us for Hello Debra,
Thanksgiving again this year. Our house is plenty large Well, I see your question got Jan all fired up. This is a
enough so that isn't our problem. Our problem is our par- situation that goes on with thousands of families every
ents do not like or get along with each other. They make year when the holidays roll around. There is really no easy solu-
absolutely no effort to try to get along. tion to this problem. Anyway you decide on this peoples feelings
are going to be hurt. I am going to say you go with some "tough
They argue about everything! They fight over what to love."
watch on television. It's even impossible to watch the news
in the evening because they argue over every subject re- I feel the exact opposite of Jan on this. ( What else is new?) I
ported on. They argue over who is going to get what they would give them one more chance. Make it very clear to every-
think is the best room in our house. Last year "Tom" one involved that this is their last chance. Tell them loud and
cooked a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner and they totally clear that their constant arguing and bickering ruined your last
ruined it. They got on the subject of politics at our dinner Thanksgiving. Also, tell them that since they are family and you
table and the argument turned very loud and ugly. Loud love them they are getting this one last chance.
shouts and name calling even. It got so bad that "Tom" I would lay out the rules. Spell out exactly the behavior that is
got up and just left our table and wouldn't come back. He required and expected of everyone. There is absolutely no reason
didn't get to enjoy one bite of our dinner. I was in tears. I at all that families can not get along if the effort is made to do
don't think we are being selfish by wanting to enjoy our so. Tell everyone how much this means to you. If they ignore
Thanksgiving without them being here. "Tom" says we your wishes again this Thanksgiving after they have been put on
should just tell them all that we are going on a cruise for notice, then you are entirely within your rights to pull the plug
Thanksgiving and won't be home. I don't feel like lying to and say "that's it, and never again!"
them. They are our parents after all.
I truly hope families that are experiencing this situation give it
What can be done about this? We don't want another some serious thought. Family is and should be important to all
Thanksgiving ruined by our constantly arguing parents. I of us. Respect each other. Hoping you have a very nice Thanks-
want to be in our home for the holiday and not feel like I giving and Happy Thanksgiving to all.
should have to run off to someplace else just to avoid them.
Help! Distressed Debra.

Okay, I usually leave the nasty comments for Dean. But
I have to speak up. First, the good thing is that it
doesn’t seem like you inherited your parents bad behav-

HAVE A QUESTION FOR JAN & DEAN? E A QUESTION FOR JAN & DEAN?
HAV
You just might have your question answered next month.
Go to Wavesgalveston.com & ask away. You just might have your question answered next month.

Waves Magazine | November 2018 Issue | 57 Waves Magazine | November 2018 Issue |